Self-infliction

How to even start to describe this tragedy...

Dipu was a young man who lived near one of the families we have been in touch with for many years through Jeevan Sahara Kendra. The Nambiars are no strangers to sadness. Their father died of AIDS - and was our first contact with them. Their uncle has HIV and is taking his meds regularly. Mrs. Nambiar and Satish her youngest child both have HIV too. Besides Satish who is now in his mid-teens, the family has an oldest brother who is in and out of jobs and alcohol and two sisters in between.

Three years ago, Dipu eloped with Wani - the older sister. Last year her younger sister also eloped.

Whenever we met Dipu and his wife Wani and their child it was bitter-sweet (with more bitter than sweet). They would talk and occasionally seemed grateful for the inputs - but the violence that came out of this young boy was great. Par for the course it seems for many young semi-educated men who grow up in the slums and see an ever more aspirational world around them. A nattily dressed young man, Dipu worked on and off in odd jobs.

Two days ago we got the shocking news that there had been a huge fight in the family. Dipu in a drunken rage had beaten up his wife and fought with her other family members at the fag end of the 'Holi' festival.

The details are sketchy, but it seems that Dipu was so angry that he went inside at around midnight, poured kerosene over himself and lit it.

He was taken to the government hospital and was conscious enough to tell the police that he had done it to himself.

We did not expect him to live long. He did not. His agony lasted just over a day. Last night he succumbed to the burn wounds.

Suicide - premeditated or in a drunken rage - has no silver lining.

The whole team is stunned - sickened - and reeling from the horror of it all. We find ourselves numb, praying fragments of prayers - finding words sticking in our throats. But pray we must - especially in times like this when the raw horror sticks on like a stain.

Please remember young Wani tonight - as she and their small child spend the first night of widowhood.