Contentment

Out here in India that rumblings of the 1% and the 99% are faintly heard. The morning papers have a slow drip of info about them.  I wonder how many papers in the west have stories about the street struggles we have here.  Its not only pepper spray - people often lose life and limb to the brutalities of security forces of various stripes.

We live in a sea of poverty and basically close our eyes daily to the desperate struggle people have around us to survive.

Here is a short note (clearly for a western audience) but one that we have to admit fits us to:

To the last line you can add that if you are reading this message on the Chai Chats site - then you have another feather in your cap - many who can read do not have access to the internet.  Slap another 1.5 billion or so to that number...


We have so much to be grateful for.


The Good Book says is succinctly.  Godliness with contentment is great gain. I Timothy 6.6

13 days

  
I came home at noon to a teary boy.

He had not eaten breakfast.

Tomorrow marks 3 weeks since Sheba went North and we went South.  We all miss her very much.  Enoch is now vocalising what is in his heart.

Yesterday night at the dinner table he asked "Mummy's not eating with us?"

Today the tears started to trickle. 

"I want to see Mummy.  And I want to see her right now"

Enoch and I went into the next room for some Lego therapy.  We made a calendar which we will now use to count down the days.  Tomorrow we will cross out the 13 by sticking a big old lego cross ontop of it.  Then we will have only 12 days left till we see Mummy.

The heart yearns.

Enoch enjoying a delicious rice and chicken curry lunch today!  His morning 'fast' made him quite hungry at lunch!  We are being wonderfully blessed by having Ammamma cook for us during these days.

A day

End of a day.

Got up at six-something.  Late. Got a mini-brekkie for Asha.  Got her tiffin ready.  She ironed her clothes and combed her beautiful hair.  The girl is growing up.

We were out of the door at 6.40.   Enoch was with us.  He loves dropping Asha off at school.  Scooter on the blink so we hoofed it over to Vasant Vihar High School.  There was actually the faintest bit of coolness in the air.  Saw more than the odd sweater on folks.  Was still wearing my t-shirt and shorts I had slept in during the night when Enoch and I walked back home.

Boiled milk.  Had a cuppa.  Quick look at the word.  Too quick.  Had a shower.A conversation on the phone with my darling.  Counting the days - just over 2 weeks now till Sheba returns home.  Kiss to Enoch.  Walk over to work.  In the door just after 8.

Emails and FB.  Trying to figure out the day.  Its going to be a logistic one.  A foreign visitor pops in the door.  Forgot her.  Yes its Tuesday - and I had said she could come over and see the project.  Dr. Marise is there so I will ask her to give the visitor an understanding of our work.

In staff prayer at 9.  Translate Sandhya's sharing from the word for our visitor.  Hand her over to Dr. Marise and do a quick strategy with Moses, Manoj and Santosh - to get the materials out for Mumbai AIDS Sunday.  We pack and repack.  Count and get the letters in order.  Its past 11 before they are out the door.  Way late but thats how it is.  Things take time. 

A frustrating fight with the ancient printer. Turn off the computer repeatedly to try and flush the phantom print commands out of the system.

The policeman who came with his brother to see us yesterday is back.  This time to show his brother to Dr. Marise.  I introduce them.  The brother is from the southern border of Maharasthra. He has come to Thane because he has HIV.  He has tried suicide at least once.  Yesterday - when talking to him I told him that his name in Hindi meant 'priceless' - and that's what he is - so valuable in the sight of God and all of us.  We prayed together before he left.

A young man comes by.  He has had HIV since birth.  He is 22 now.  An orphan.  Living in a half-way home and working at a call centre.  His carers have asked him to be checked up.  Marise stops by and tells me that he has not been looking after himself at all and has oral candiasis and swollen lymph nodes.  Not a good sign at all.  He sounds like he is deep denial - probably just so tired of HIV - having had it life-long.  A young life already dripping with weariness.  We link him up with Giri who takes him to the Civil Hospital to get registered for ART and to get a CD4 test.

Its time to grab lunch.  Some photocopies need to be done.  More books to be packed for distribution.  I get Agnes and others to help out.  Stop off and drop off the photocopies so that I can pick them up later.

Up to lunch.  Enoch wanted to watch a Tintin cartoon.  Then I see what Amma has made.  Chicken biryani. The smell is heavenly.  We can't sit in another room and wolf down a meal like this.  I talk quietly to Enoch and we decide to shelve the 'Cigars of Pharaoh' for later.  He's a great kid.  Lunch is terrific.  His shirt is ironed - I make his tiffin and then we are out.  Walking over to school in the heat of the sun. A huge road-roller patching the road outside our complex.  Road work seems to take place most often at the hottest part of the day.

We reach school well in time.  We have counted 'Nano' cars on the way and talked about lego.  The line of boys is still waiting outside the gate.  A quick prayer and Enoch joins them.  They soon file off to join the girls who were already allowed in.

I wait as the stream of older kids starts to flow from around the corner.  After umpteen kids- there comes our firstborn.  Asha looks happy.  We walk back home.  I drop her at the corner - once we have crossed the crazy intersection near Lok Upvan (where we live now).  I pick up the photocopies.  They have been neatly rolled up in so many slim cylinders.

A walk over to the Jeevan Sahara Kendra again.  Our black beauty's zip is well missed by my feet today.  But then again a bit of walking never did any harm.

The afternoon is a blur.

At one point three ladies come into my office.  Since it is the size of a biggish shoe-box - we need a bit of squeezing.  I quickly find out that the two better dressed professional ladies have brought another lady who is small and thin - for help with understanding what to do with her HIV.

We go over to Sheba's office.  I wish she were here.  Its 3.20 pm and Dr. Marise has left for the day.  I ask Agnes to join us.  We talk.  Laxmi (not her real name) lost her husband 10 years ago.  She looks thin and has been ill.  A small file of medical records shows her CD4 count is low.  334.  It should be between 900 - 1200.  She has a daughter.  I start to explain that she has come to a place where we care for her.  She starts to cry.  Her employers are embarrassed and try to shush her.  I want her to be able to cry and try to tell Laxmi that.  Its hard to talk to her with such an audience around.  I ask Agnes to talk with Laxmi while I help the helpers.

They are both interested and want to help.  We talk about HIV and what the options are at this point.  I let them know that Laxmi can live long if she fights the disease and is consistent and if we pray.  We discuss food.  Medications.  What to do next.  They look visibly relieved. We set an appointment for one them to come with Laxmi to see Dr. Marise on Fri morning.  I go back to my office.  Agnes is still talking with Laxmi in another room.  I ask the helpers to sit for a while.

Agnes arrives breathless at my office a few minutes later.  'Please come brother'  Laxmi had cried a lot and told her story.  At the end, Agnes asked her she would like prayer. Laxmi said yes and asked for prayer for her daughter.  Agnes closed her eyes and prayed.  When she looked up mid-prayer, Laxmi had loosed her hair and was jerking her head around strangely.  Not a pretty sight.  Daniel and I were called in.  We prayed and Laxmi calmed down.  The helpers outside asked what was the matter.  I said it happens with some folks.

In the meanwhile phone calls.  Emails. An ache for Sheba. A phone call from the mechanic telling me the scooter will be repaired for a cost only slightly less than the moon.  I tell him I will meet him at 6.  A quick bill payment of the electric bill on the way, and I am at the grimy motorbike repair wallah just before time.  He is out somewhere.  His trusty lieutenant briefs me.  The scooter is scattered about in so many pieces.  What can I say?  No, I don't want if fixed. The sum boggles me, but I grimly nod my head and ask the chap to go on with what 'has to be done.'

A stroll over to the school and its time to pick up Enoch.  An sms from one of our just-left-from-JSK-after-7-months-here interns thanks me but informs me that the brain surgery that I thought had happened yesterday is still to come.   Enoch comes bobbing along.  He is most concerned that we get the Tintin flick under our belt. 

We breeze in home.  A quick hello to Amma and Appa and we repair to the computer to see the Cigars of Pharaoh.  Good stuff.  Amma brings in tea and her home-made 'diamond biscuits'.  I watch the clock.  Asha is downstairs playing with her friends and cycling.  We see over half of the flick and then I have to be off again.

Appa and I head over to the bible study at Shanti's house.  Asha meets us a we get into the lift.  She has hurt her leg.  We escort her to the door and then ride down the mechanical marvel.  6 floors everyday.  Multiple times.

Miracle of miracles.  We get an autorickshaw immediately.  We arrive at Shanti's home to see that one lady has already come.  More trickle in as we get the singing underway.  Eventually we have 4 ladies.  8 kids.  Plus the host. And a single man and a couple too boot.  Appa shares from the word.  He weaves his own stories in too. And what he has read in newspapers.  He talks about Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus.  Of how Jesus wants us to ask, seek and knock.  But also how Jesus wants us to have clean hearts of repentance.  How much we need to look into ourselves and talk to God about what we see.  We end up praying for a woman whose husband beats here.  Another who wants to have a small room of her own.  Another who is troubled by horrible dreams.  A young man whose brother is tying to juggle a job and college.  We pray.  Shanti serves us soup in cups afterwards.  An auto back.  We are home.

A few calls come in but supper is taken with Amma and Appa.  The kids had eaten earlier.  I tell of some of the days experience to Amma and Appa.  Enoch listens open-mouthed to the story of Laxmi.

Family prayers and then bed.  For Asha at least.  I find myself stuck to the computer. Enoch joins me to watch the part of the flick I did not see earlier.  Then he turns in too.  And so I end the day in the silence of a fan whirring and two kids sleeping behind me.  Somewhere over a 1000 kms away, Sheba is probably on night-call helping mothers birth babies in the obstetrics section of the Duncan Hospital.  I read the news.  Read some blogs and then write the words you - gentle reader - are reading now.

A quick nip to the fridge for me - and then it is off to bed - joining the rest of the house in tha charming mystery called sleep.  Dogs broadcast themselves outside - while my eyelids prove the law of gravity.

A day.  Its over.  Almost.

Fearfully and wonderfully made

Every child is a special child.  Ask their father.  Ask their mum.

Here is what our friend Raja has to say about his son in an email we recently received:

My name is Dr Raja who was at Burroughs Memorial Christian Hospital in Alipur, Assam. I am sending out a email to raise support for treatment of my adopted son at UNC Chapel Hill, USA.

Baby Adam is 8 weeks old and was born in a small mission hospital deep in the heart of Northeastern India where Jessica and I were working . Adam was abandoned at birth due to a rare genetic disorder that caused multiple birth defects (including an absence of eyebrows, severe cleft palate and lip, absent fingers, and significant webbing on his legs). His life may have seemed hopeless in those first few hours as he was left alone in a small infant bed. Many people discussed what to make of him and his future.We named him Adam that He is in God's image since some people were telling that he is ugly and disfigured.

My wife Jessica and I felt particularly burdened to care for this child. As we went daily to wash him and care for his needs, we  began to realize that baby Adam needed a family. Even if his life and condition were uncertain, he needed a home. He could certainly sense rejection and could certainly sense love. He had found a lot of rejection but what he needed was love. Adam was officially named . He was loved and visited by many.

We took to New Delhi to be seen at the All India Institute of Medical Science for further treatment but all the options seemed hopeless. Despite a healthy heart, brain, and other internal organs, operations did not seem possible. That is, until we heard from UNC (University of North Carolina Medical School ) Chapel Hill. A team of specialists were committing their knowledge and skills to help repair Adam’s external defects. In this last few weeks, we have seen more miracles than ever before. We got Adam's passport in one day and US visa in one day....God has been so good to us. 

Baby Adam is now in Chapel Hill, NC awaiting treatment. Specialists have seen him and surgeries have been planned. We are now awaiting the necessary funds to complete treatment. Please join us in this journey. We are hoping to raise the $100,000 by Nov 30^th in order to provide the 1st stage of surgeries that is needed for Adam . If you want to contribute please make checks payable to “The Baby Adam Fund” and send to The Medical Foundation of North Carolina.

Adam was given general anesthesia for central venous line today and successfully recovered. Praise God. Ever since we have adopted Adam .There were lots of encouragements and some discouragements in this process specially within 7 months of marriage adopting a special need child..and so on. However , we feel that God has brought Adam to our life with a purpose and asking us to obedient in caring for Adam.

Please continue pray for Adam 

Some of the updates are available in the following web links:  http://www.babyadamsjourney.com/ 

http://palestiniancleftsociety.com/    http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/BabyAdamPaulraj  

I will really appreciate if you can pass this information on.

Thanks .

In Him

Raja 

Chapel Hill ,North Carolina.

 

-- 

Dr.Raja Paulraj
Consultant Psychiatrist
Herbertpur Christian Hospital
P.O. Herbertpur, Distt. Dehradun
Uttarakhand - 248 142India

Word from Bihar

Let us give thanks for the mobile phone.

This small piece of plastic and metal - that has become a second heart for us.  For which should leave the house without the reassuring weight of the mobile in my pocket - I inevitably notice within 15 minutes of being out the door.  I think I have a greater chance of walking out without my trousers than sans mobile.

Over these weeks - whenever the fine talk-machine starts vibrating I look double quick to see whether the caller or message-sender is my beloved Sheba.

Here the kids and I are - near the Arabian sea - and there she is - off on the border with Nepal.  Plunged in head-first in a large mission hospital where there are very few doctors at this point.

If Sheba had any thought that her time there would be mainly observational, that idea has quickly evaporated.  She is up to her elbows in work. 

In a hospital where 25 or so kids are born every day - there is a lot of birthing to be done!  Sheba worked through the night yesterday.  She was on-call - which basically meant that she was in the labour room or theatre the whole time.  Talking to her this morning on the blessed mobile Sheba told me that she had lost count how many kids were born.  Was it 10 or 11?  Sheba had to do a difficult ceasarian section on a woman whose child had turned to a breach-presentation.  She did it on her own.  With the help of chief surgeon Jesus of course.

And so it goes.  My darling off on the border of Nepal.  Delivering kids.  Doing lumbar punctures. Counselling women in depression. Being salt and light.

The word from Bihar comes via our little black and red hand-set.  Crackling across the 1000+ kms that lie between us.  Linking us in love and prayer.

Blessed are the mobile-makers.

Out on the streets

At Jeevan Sahara Kendra we deal with many people who have HIV.

People's lives which are so devastated by the disease and the suffering linked with it.

How often we wish our Positive Friends could have prevented the disease instead of getting it.

By God's grace India remains relatively low in its HIV prevalence (the US has a higher rate per population than we do - at least if you believe both governments...).  But we do not want to pat ourselves on the back. There are still too many new infections taking place.

Today 32 young people are out on the streets of Thane to try and stop the spread.

We have structured today's Youth Against AIDS Day of Outreach and Service - as a time when young people will get the word out about HIV prevention and testing.

This morning we gathered at JSK to set the stage.

Our JSK Staff demostrated the street play that the young people will be performing across Thane.
 
We then split into 5 groups and practiced it on the grounds of the JSK.

Its a small step forward.  Putting our young people in a role of communicating a life-and-death message.

Something that most of u

The skit is simple.  It shows our immune system as a guard who effortlessly keeps diseases like fevers, diarrhoeas, pneumonias and TB away from the body.  But one night after the body went to a prostitute - a new disease has entered - HIV - which gradually erodes the power of the immune system.  As they fight it out the immune system weakens and the body is now open to the attacks of the other diseases around it.

The pitch at the end is to protect - but we are not just interested in people knowing some facts.  We want people to actually get tested.  After the street play is over - the participants will give out pamphlets about our testing centre here - and talk with the people on the street about HIV.

Why testing?  Because when a person gets tested for HIV they find out the truth.  They see what their condition really is.  If they are HIV positive, then we can immediately start treatment.  If they are negative - then they have a new life ahead of them.  A chance to change their behaviour.  A chance to live in a different way.

As I type this - our 5 teams have fanned out to different parts of the city.    We gathered around a large map of Thane and dedicated ourselves to helping others prevent HIV.

Its a new start.  We hope that we will have people come here for testing.  Today.  Or some other day.  But we trust that our work of getting the word out will touch lives and bear fruit.  In changed lives.

Our youth are out on the streets.  Doing something that will last.

Palliation

Palliation.  Not a nice word. The very wince of it seems to suggest defeat.  Seems to say that whatever we did has not worked.  For me the word reminds me of pallid - a husk of a word - giving-up stretched out as long as possible.

But for us palliation is a reality. And one that has its own joys despite the imminence of death.

We brought Mrs. Candy back day before yesterday.

Mrs. Candy has been on treatment for years.  She had TB. Was treated. Poorly.  Had to be retreated.  At the end of her retreatment she was still coughing up TB bacilli.

With the help of another agency - we got Mrs. Candy on multi-drug resistant TB treatment.  She took a mountain of medicines for 2 years.

She survived.  Sort of.  At the end of the time she was culture negative.  But not well.

Her hard small body has been battered for many years.  Besides her HIV - her late husband battered her.  Beat her with his hands.  Beat her heart by taking other women into his home while she was there.

When we first met her she was begging outside a local temple.  Her son was almost feral. 

These years have been hard ones for her.  A woman for whom destitution is not an abstract noun - but a daily reality. 


It has been hard at times to know how to relate to her.  But through all of the ups and downs we have seen a smile and a depth of character that belie the chaos that most of her life seems to have been.

Last week she had a lot of swelling.  It seems that her heart is giving out.  Sheba is away so we had to take her to the civil hospital.  After a short time there, we were told to vacate her.

The Civil Hospital was on strike and they said that she needed a sonography done for her heart.  So they sent her to JJ hospital.  When our staff arranged an ambulance and took her there - they found that it too was on strike.  We were told that Sewri hospital would admit her.

After some cajoling they did.  But they are a TB hospital.  And so they insisted on restarting TB treatment. 

This after she has already been through the most gruelling course of medications you can think of.

It was time to call it quits.

We talked to Mrs. Candy's daughter - who had finally shown up - and brought them back to the centre.  Dr. Marise came over and explained things to Mrs. Candy.  She has to be ready to die.  We will be giving medications for her heart condition - but its unlikely to improve much.

We are switching to palliation.

How much longer Mrs. Candy will live is anyone's guess.  Her son - once a vagabond - is now studying at a hostel run by a small Bible college.  Mrs. Candy wants him to become a pastor.  We will be bringing him to spend some time with his mother.

Our team will be visiting the family every other day. 

Mrs. Candy says she is ready to die.  She has seen life and she has met God personally.  Her simple faith puts most of us to shame.  Her sufferings and her complexities continue - but that bright flash of a smile that peeps out every now speaks of a different reality that she is experiencing in these last days.