Denial

Thanks to National Geographic!

Al Gore once said: Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

Very true.

In our work with people with HIV its our biggest enemy. The silent, invisible foe which makes dealing with the disease and living real positive lives so much harder.

And its not just people with HIV who have the finger of denial on their shoulder. An honest look at most of our lives shows denial robbing us of so much.

So often we don't own up to the truth - to reality - to what is actually going on. Jeremiah talks about the heart being deceptive above all else. The biggest recipients are ourselves. If we don't like something, more often than not it gets air-brushed out of our lives, posted for another day, swept under the carpet.

For a person with HIV this can be - and sadly often is - deadly.

If I am sick I tend to try and get help. Somehow.

But if I feel well, then to go to the doctor.... to have to think about my condition... to keep answering questions... Far easier to say that I am 'well'. I don't think I even had the disease. I'm OK.

One man put it brilliantly: "No mention, no tension!"

Lock away my status. Ignore it. I am healthy. I will look after myself. It will go away. I think. I forget.

Sadly the virus does not forget. It keeps multiplying and fighting the daily struggle with the body's immune system. Millions of viral particles formed each day - being countered by millions of anti-HIV anti-bodies. Months and years of this leading to the immune system going slowly down the tubes.

A sad sub-set of denial are folks who say that they have been divinely healed. I dread this conversation - because I fully believe God has the power to 'completely heal' (i.e. rid the body of every single HIV virus including those in the reservoir sites) a person. The problem is that we have yet to meet a person who has had this take place.

Inevitably, those who demand another HIV test find that they are still 'HIV positive' (though the test just looks at the presence of HIV antibodies - which would be expected to continue in a person even if God decided to 'take away' all the HIV viruses from a person).

A few have been brought to different meetings and told that they are healed - but then later fall sick. Often the statement made is 'they stopped being a follower of Christ and went back to their old ways..."

Lord give us the grace to see your life and your fullness in this age of AIDS.

But back to denial.

There is a remedy. A bitter one at first - but one that like old-fashioned medicine - does the trick.

Its called truth.

Jesus tells his disciples in John 8.32 that if they follow his teachings they will "know the truth, and the truth will set you free".

This is true for a person with HIV. Or a person like me with a more dangerous disease - the sinful rebellious heart.