Friend

We have 19 mutual friends.

We probably know each other.

Why don't we connect over Facebook? ... at least that is what the good folks at FB want us to do.  And so his face appears every now and then, with a suggestion to 'add Friend.' beneath the name and image.  And the reminder of how many people are already 'FB friends' with both of us.

We actually do know each other.

But we can't become friends of Facebook.

My friend died at the end of last year.  He died at our centre.  He is now in a place where true friendship lasts forever - instead of the shallow 'friending' that Facebook offers.

I remember his thin body.  His lop-sided smile. 

I remember praying with him.  Talking with him.  I remember the love and care that Sheba and our nurses gave him.  I remember the large number of his brothers and sisters who came to meet him in his last days.  The church which so lovingly had cared for him and been his home.  I remember the day of his funeral - seeing his young peers as they watched his body being carried out to the ambulance for its last journey to the burial ground.

One thing I know for sure is that my friend is with my Lord.  Far from being dead - he is very much alive.

I don't need FB to friend him.  We are friends for life... and beyond.

Prayer and meds

As the world rejoices that a child in the US seems to be successfully 'cured' of HIV, we still face a huge set of challenges here in the day to day business of helping people with HIV get better.

Take 'Mary' for example.

A bright young nurse, Mary came to us because her friend 'Padmini''s mother had HIV.  We had earlier met Padmini after she approached Sheba took a seminar on HIV prevention for young women.

Mary was Padmini's friend and was working as a nurse.  One day she was fired from her job.  The reason?  She was 'retrovirus positive' - doctor code for being HIV positive.

Mary was crushed.  We counselled her.  Suggested she work with us.  Mary said no, she wanted to work with her church.  We didn't interfere.  Mary's mother is a nurse herself.  Mary kept her distance from us.

Later Mary came back sick.  She had started working at another place as a nurse.  Her immunity was down.  We welcomed her back, counselled her and started her on Anti-retroviral drugs - the life-saving medications which have helped so many live amazingly normal lives.

The catch, however, is that you have to take the meds.  They don't work if you keep them in a closet.  They don't work if you pop them occassionally when you are in a good mood.  They have to be taken every single day.  12 hour intervals.  Strict.  7 days a week.  Every week.  Every month.  Life long.

HIV has a nasty way of creating a hidden body of latent cells which stay dormant - not expressing their HIV genetic material while the drugs are present - but then replicating when the drugs are not [i.e. when a person has skipped their dose(s)].

We suggested that Mary get her meds from the government.  They are totally free.  She refused.  She insisted we start her on the meds.  We did.

She took them for a month.  And then we lost her again.

She did not want our staff to visit her at home.  Visiting her at work was obviously out of the question.

Today we found out the reason for her absence.  Someone had told her that there was a cure available.  They guaranteed it.  So she stopped the meds we had started her on - and took the quack stuff.

Tragically - but not to our surprise - her health worsened.  But instead of coming back to us she got herself checked into the biggest hospital in town.  She has been there for a month now.  Her medical bills are in the lakhs of rupees.  She has had convulsions.

And all she needed to take was her meds.

All we can do now is pray for her.

Its so maddening that people are still peddling all sorts of 'cures' - and that people are still going after them when we know that the Anti-retrovirals really do work!

We know that every person with HIV wants to be 'cured.'   Recently a pastor came to us with a man who he is looking after.  He took him off the street and found that he is HIV positive.  Instead of  rejecting him, the pastor cared for him more.  He loved him and prayed for him.  The man is feeling so much better.   The pastor came and asked that we test the man again.  He was sure that the man was now cured and would be happy to find out that he is HIV negative.

We said no.   We have gone down that road before - where people are told that 'prayer has healed them' and that they should stop their meds.   When God in his grace has given us excellent meds - which our government gives free to people who need them - why should we doubt his goodness?

Last week the daughter of a woman came to us.  Same story.  Her mother is a widow.  She was on meds but stopped after being told that she had been cured by prayer.  Now she is dying.  Her daughter is in 12th standard, working and looking after her 8 year-old brother - as well as looking after her mother.  They live heart-breakingly far away from us - at the very end of the great urban sprawl of Mumbai.  But another case of 'well-meaning' faith which has bitter consequences.

Now don't get me wrong.  I fully believe that Jesus has the power to heal.  After all He raise Lazarus from the dead.  I don't think it is wrong to ask for healing.  We are told to ask.  We are told to come to Him as little children.

But I know that every single person who loves Jesus and has HIV has asked Jesus to heal them.  Every single person.  I can't think of a person who has not.  And as I look out over the 'world of HIV' I see that the largest numbers of people living with HIV live in sub-Saharan Africa - probably the most Jesus-following part of our planet at this point in time.  So that means millions of prayers.

So why are we not hearing of more 'faith healings'?   I mean real ones - ones where there is not a virus left.   I have seen many people 'come back to life' after we prayed for them.  People who were in coma.  People with serious brain infections.  People deeply in the grip of TB.  But they are still living with HIV in them.

I think part of the answer is that God is God.  He is not our lackey to do whatever we demand of Him.  As harsh as that may sound - especially when we desperately want something - it means that we come to Him as little children - but also trusting that whatever answer He gives is the very best for us.  And that means that so many of us are not going to be magically taken away from all the issues of suffering that HIV has with it.

And even in scripture the giants of the faith were not given some kind of super-immunity where they never got sick.   St. Paul gives a small glimpse into this when he tells Timothy to 'stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses' (1 Tim. 5.23).  Surely here were two super-faith fellows - and yet bishop Timothy seems to need a bit of wine because of repeated gastric problems.

So the bottom line is that I know God is good.  I know He is powerful.  I know and have seen Him answer prayers.  But I also know that many prayers do not get the answers we want.  Especially our brothers and sisters with HIV. 

Our prayers go out to Mary tonight as she fights for life in the poshest, most high-tech hospital Thane has.  Its such a futile situation since we know that if she had taken her meds she would not be in such a horrible situation tonight. 

Even now, precious Lord Jesus, have mercy on your daughter Mary, stretch out your hand and strengthen her every fibre of her body, help her fight the infections she is plagued with, restore her ravaged immune system,  help the medications she is currently on to really work in the right way, give her peace of heart and hope to fight, give her the assurance that she is loved by you and by all who are caring for her.   Lord give her another chance we plead...

Lots and lots of bits

2013 started with lots of little bits.  Bits of lego of course!

We wanted to do the unthinkable.  To make something that used up every single piece of lego that we have.  This project would link together all the legacy lego bricks from Stefan, Premi and my childhood days with the new generation of hand-me-downs and sparkling-brand-new-sets of duplo and lego that Asha and Enoch got over the years.

We started bright and early on the 1st of January 2013.

Step 1 dump out all the pieces on a big blue cloth.  Yes, every single piece we have!

Our building team had Enoch, Rishav Singh and myself as the core - with outside support from Asha and Sheba!

Now the fun begins!

We start out with deciding on what to make.  After some discussion - we choose to make a single animal.  So now we have to make the base on which the beast will be constructed.

 

Then the actual construction work starts!  Lots of sorting.  Lots!

Duplos go first.  We decide that they will make good legs.

By now early afternoon is upon us and the hungry builders repair to another room for a repast.

Rishav is a basketball player and we get some ball skills - courtesy the plates!  

With a good meal in our stomaches it is back to work.  The ladies of the house retire for a nap while the men keep on building.  Such dedication to the cause!

After the legs are set we build the platform for the stomache.

Included are the yellow plastic platforms which are the only bits left from our East German Pebe (a lego duplicate) sets which we had received when we were with our grandmother in 1978. 

More sorting into groups of bricks is the order of the day as we really want to use every bit.  How are we going to use all the wheels?  We decide to incorporate them into the body wall of our creature.  

In the mean time - I start working on the head.  A boat will serve as the lower jaw...

Our old lego motors get incorporated  at the top of the legs - to better bear their weight.  A string of duplo bits becomes the tail.  The animal is taking shape!   But how to incorporate so many wheels - there seem to be an endless supply of them...

The sun has already crept towards the horizon by now.  

We have a welcome interruption of an evening tea.  Enoch - who never wants to waste a minute chooses to tae a quick read.

And so the day winds late into the night.

We have not fulfilled our quest.  

The beast has taken shape - but there are still many pieces to add and he is not finished by a long shot.   Before we clean up we take a final shot....  of our lego dog!

Another day of work on the next Saturday still doesn't finish our original goal of getting all the pieces into one big item.  We start a wall behind him and want to put all the little figures in front of the dog - but the cruel nature of time takes over.

We just don't have the time to get all the odd little bits that we have left onto him.  One thing we know: over the years we have accumulated a lot of lego.   Not quite enough to build a lego house.  

But then again.  We used almost everything we had (and could have just dumped all the rest into the 

stomache of the beast if we wanted too)!  I did hope that we could find another half a day or so to finish it off.

So Lego dog got shelved for a better day... and the weeks went by till we needed the base plates for Enoch's b-day party.  After putting in an hour to try and finish off lego-dog, we call it a day.

A last picture of Enoch with Lego-dog!

... and then it goes the way of all flesh (at least all lego-flesh).... it is dismantled and put back into the suitcases the bricks came from.  So that they will be made into something new again on another day of play.

A truthful heart

Last year a man with a very severe brain infection was admitted at a nearby hospital. They found out that he had HIV. Mr. Narayan (not his real name of course) was an old man with grown children and a devout follower of his faith. His condition seemed hopeless, but we started looking after him at JSK and our home-based care team followed him up at his home.    While he was in the hospital, we counselled and tested his wife for HIV and found that she too was HIV positive. Mrs. Narayan was terribly shocked at this - but since her husband was dying she did not have much time to think about the implications.    After 4 months of home-care, we are amazed.  Narayan's brain condition has no treatment.  There is an only 10% spontaneous cure rate.  The other three people who we know with this condition have all died.  But Mr. Narayan has largely recovered. He is able to walk and live an almost normal life. Last week Mr. and Mrs. Narayan came to meet Sheba. Mrs. Narayan was beside herself - saying that she cannot understand how her husband got the disease. "He is such a good man. It must have been through a dirty needle." Sheba listened to this for some time. Then she opened the Bible and talked about the need to confess our sins. Then it happened. Mr. Narayan opened up. He told Sheba that he had been with other friends to a prostitute. Not once, but a number of times.  He asked forgiveness. His wife was thunderstruck. She could not believe what she was hearing. "But you are such a religious man!" she cried out. "Why did you not tell me about this?" The truth is not an easy road to travel. But with God's help we can walk it.  So much of the time we deceive others.   We don't want to bear up to the truth.  In the end we listen to our lies so much that we end up deceiving ourselves.  It sometimes takes a hard knock for us to snap out of our own lies. Will you just spend a short time to pray for this white-haired couple as they face up to the reality of their lives. Will you ask God's forgiveness to flow through Mrs. Narayan. Pray that she will be healed of the terrible betrayal she has now discovered. And at the same time - how about a prayer for yourself?  I just prayed that God will let my heart be truthful ... and my words be exactly what they are supposed to be - True.

David Halloran Lumsdaine

As a graduate student in the early 90s I was far from home.  New Haven was an odd place - old-world charm and the gritty ghetto were cheek-by-jowl.

After holding out for a year, I gave in and started attending a lively Episcopalian church - and was then invited to join two remarkable men as a house-mate.

Greg Jackson and David Lumsdaine welcomed me into so much more than just the appartment they shared - they welcomed me into their lives and into community.  Greg was at that time a research engineer at a cutting edge tech start-up while David was a professor in the International Relations department at Yale.
 
It was thus with a kick in the gut to get emails from Greg over the last few days telling about David's heart attack last week and his hospitalisation in a critical condition.  We and many of David's friends around the world participated in a prayer vigil that his church organised.

Then this morning's email - David has left this world to be with Jesus.

To the folks that Greg had sent out the updates I wrote this short note:

Dear Friends,

It has been a bitter-sweet opportunity for us to be part of the company of saints as we remembered and prayed for David in his last hours of this life.

Bitter because death remains a terrible loss and void - the separation of body from soul/spirit, and the separation of a dear person from the community of the living is always hard.

Sweet because we were united in spirit across the continents in prayer.  Our voices rose together as incense before the throne of our loving Lord Jesus.  Sweet because of the memories of dear David.  The intricate almost mandala-like designs he used to make.  His intellectual and spiritual passion.  The depth of his God-given love for so many.  The sheer imposing physical presence of the man. The personal love for me and Sheba - shown when he joined Greg and Karin for a trip out to India to see us.  And so many other facets of David. All these swirled to mind with the news of him being in a restricted state - there in the hospital - on life support. 

But now the sweetness can burst forth into fruit.  We know that he will not return to us - rather we will go to be with him.  And we will go to be with David in the presence of our living Lord Jesus.  What a glorious hope we have.  What joy we have for David who is already tasting the fullness of life in the fullness of time.

Bless the Lord oh my soul.

love from Andi, Sheba, Asha and Enoch

------------------------

Gordon College - where David was a well-loved professor (how could he not be?) - made the following announcement about David's passing on to glory.

The Gordon College community grieves the loss of Professor David Lumsdaine, who passed away this morning, February 27, from complications following a heart attack.

As a member of the Political Science Department, Dr. Lumsdaine taught a variety of courses with specialization in international relations and foreign policy. His classes emphasized student participation and writing, and students often spoke with deep appreciation for this man who was a beloved professor and mentor to so many.

"David Lumsdaine was dearly beloved by his students and colleagues," says Ruth Melkonian-Hoover, associate professor of political science, and department chair. "He passionately loved God, others, and God’s world, and this came through in everything he did. He had a brilliant mind and elected to invest himself first and foremost in remarkable ways in our student’s lives. We have been richly blessed by him, and his passing represents a tremendous loss to our department and to all of us in the Gordon community."

He was a regular discussant at the Jeruslem and Athens Forum, one of Gordon's honors programs. "For you," writes Ryan Groff, JAF program coordinator, "there was life to be found in ancient texts, and our cohorts kindled their own fascination with the life of the mind and Christian faith by reading at your side such great works as St. Athanasius's 'On the Incarnation.' We will forever miss your evident and deeply felt appreciation for the beauty of Christian thought and life."

Prior to joining the Gordon faculty in 2007, Dr Lumsdaine—who held degrees in political science, engineering and mathematics—taught at Wheaton College, Yale University, Seoul National University and the Korea Development Institute in Seoul, one of the most prominent "think tanks" and educational institutions in that country.
He was also a consultant and lecturer at the Oxford Centre for Mission Studies, where he mentored many graduate students.

His book Evangelical Christianity and Democracy in Asia (Oxford, 2009) continued earlier work on how beliefs and values shape politics. He had been working on a sabbatical project examining the role of ideas in shaping the international political system, and the effect of domestic political values and practice on international politics.
Dr. Lumsdaine was an active and beloved member of Christ the Redeemer Anglican Church in Danvers, Massachusetts. "We will miss him, many of us deeply so," says the Rev. Timothy Clayton, rector of Christ the Redeemer. "He was a dear and enthusiastic brother and a leader in our family of faith, a member of the vestry."

He was predeceased by his parents and is survived by two brothers, John Lumsdaine and Peter Lumsdaine. 
A funeral service, open to the community, will be held at Christ the Redeemer Anglican Church in Danvers, MA, on Saturday, March 2, at 11 a.m.

Enoch finishes a decade - the people rejoice!

Yesterday I was talking with Enoch about his birthday.  He turned the ripe age of 10 on the 19th of this month.  "It feels like it was ages ago" said Enoch.  It does.  A week can seem like an eon at times - or like an asteroid flashing by with a bright light and a loud crash.

So lets travel back a week in time to see Enoch on his birthday.  Enoch shares his B-day with the great Maratha warrior king Shivaji - so he - and all his friends - always have a holiday from school.  Perfect for an afternoon party (and brutal on the parents who are up most of the night before).

The day started in time honoured Eicher fashion of a treasure hunt to find hidden gifts.  The king of the gifts this year was a tool box from Oma and Opa - which had been given to me a good 35 years ago - and now was refurbished, repainted with Enoch's name on it, and restocked with brand-new 'real' tools!

After a day of banging in nails into wood - the neighbour below came up in a horribly grouchy mood late in the night with a statement that we need to 'keep some discipline!'

Maybe we can help him with his home repairs the next time he has a need.

But on to happier things...

The cake had finally been finished just before the party started.  But in time for a picture with our birthday boy in his new threads:



And then the guests started to come.

Those who came on time were rewarded with a rousing starting game of blow-football.   Enoch had made a stadium with lego the day before - and a full fledged match was soon underway - complete with shoving and calls for the referee to give free shots.  And even a small bout of tears after feet got stamped on under the table!

But by and large - it was a clos'e fought match where straws were blown with ferocious strength to get the football to roll into the opponents' goal.

People coming to a party are always hungry - that's why its good to feed them chocolate!  But you need to make our friends work a bit.  Especially having them roll the die for a '6' and then working on getting off the gift wrapping and packaging using a blunt knife and fork - and trying to eat - before the next person in the round is able to roll a '6'!


We all love lego (at least I hope we do) - but can we build while wearing a blind-fold?  We split up into two teams and had the team members give instructions to the builder about what to do.  Hilarity ensued.  "Take that one! No that one!" were some of the 'helpful' comments.

But soon the groups got the grips of it and with a bit of verbal help from their team-mates, simple shapes were fashioned.

These are games that we could not have played 4 years ago.  Times change and our kids are stretching out in so many wonderful ways!

Some demands are insistent!   One is for the "hunter" game where the children get words on pieces of paper and then hear a story being read.  On hearing their word - or a 'wildcard word' - they can run to a place of safety.  Last person there is out!  It makes more fun when the 'safety place' is a couch where you can all get squashed on!

A time of reflection from the Bible - with this year's verse for Enoch about 'Running the race... to get a crown that lasts' rounded off our time together.

We are so glad to have amazing children like Enoch - and for the joy that God gives us from His word.

How much of our lives we spend chasing after things that just don't last.  Who remembers the silver medalist in the 400 m Olympic finals from 2012?  And that was just last year!  For competitors at the time of St. Paul - their prize was a laurel wreath - which would definitely dry out pretty soon after it was won.  How much more valuable to live our lives for something that lasts beyond this world!  How much we want Enoch to be living his life for eternity.

It was wonderful to have Enoch's Oma and Opa with us too - and have Opa pray for Enoch on this special day.

And there were candles to blow out and a cake to be cut too!

Later in the evening - a meal with our dear dear friends John and Nalini Gabriel and their amazing daughters Nikita and Jasper.  We celebrated the fact that we have now been at each others birthdays for 12 years!  How amazingly good God is to us all.

Birthdays are so much fun.

Don't you wish you can have more than one a year?

We are so grateful for the joy of having Enoch with us for a decade now.

At the end of his next decade - on 19th Feb 2023 - we will have (God willing) an amazing 20 year old!

Let's see what joys we experience over these next 10 years of life together....

Carbon Copy

"You're a chimp off the old block" was one of the many corny things that Dad said about me in our growing up years.

Once as an 8 year old, while on summer holiday in Kodaikanal, I was wandering about on my own after church - when a lady who was a stranger to me asked me a question.  Would I by any chance be Ray Eicher's son?  Because I looked so much like he used to when he was a student there.

But being like your parents is not just a matter of looks.  Its also mannerisms.  And now it seems that its even a deeply engrained style of fashion (or lack of it).

We all burst out laughing last week when at the dinner table we realised that Dad and I were dressed exactly alike.   

Take a look!

Note the close cropped hair (I am leading in the baldness stakes - something that I get from Mum in this case - her dad was completely bald by 30).


Observe the pen in the pocket.

Note the shade of the shirt. 

This particular shirt is one that I wear in high rotation.  Almost as soon as it has been washed and is back in the cupboard, it finds its way back on me.

I noticed that Dad's version has a similar tendency to show up often.  After the photo was taken, we already had another day when both of us were sporting the same colour shirt.

But here is the clincher.  When I looked down, I found out that we were wearing the same colour pants too.  And that our shirts seem habitually out of the pants instead of being primly tucked in.

So here for your viewing pleasure - our version of a carbon copy!  Like father, like son...