Monday, 21 September 2015

Kim is at the edge

These are grim days for Kim.

Kim set out from here for Bangalore 2 months ago with so much hope.  It was a miracle that he had survived and we were looking for a place where he could grow and thrive.   It was a miracle that the ACCEPT society said he could come and live there.  It was a series of miracles that brought around Kim’s uncle to allow him to go – and to accompany Kim down to Bangalore for his admission to a long-term care facility and children's home.

A series of miracles.

But the dark clouds have been gathering for some days now.  

We got a call from Bro Raju 2 weeks ago, telling us that Kim is not taking his medicines.  Asking us to call him up and talk to him.  Raju had assigned a Marathi-speaking staff member to help Kim.  We talked to Kim.  And we knew that Kamal - one of our staff was due to attend an inner-healing training in Bangalore and were encouraged that she was planning to meet Kim.

On Saturday Kamal called up Sheba from Bangalore and asked for prayers.  Kim is not doing well at all.   

Kamal is back on duty as for this morning.  And her report to us is grim.  Kim has been refusing help.  The food is excellent, the care given by the staff there is superb, but this 14 year old boy has retreated into a shell.  He will not take his medications, and will not eat.  And so is wasting away before us.
Kim when he was last admitted at JSK - earlier this year...
This morning bro Raju called up to break the news that Kim seems to be slipping into a critical state.  "What shall we do?" he asked.  I looked out the window, holding my phone, silent.  What words to say?  They have been working so hard.  And to hear this.  Tragic.

"We will pray, brother" I finally said.  "And we will inform Kim's uncle."

The end may be very near for Kim.  He has walked this path before, and has been brought back by love at least twice in the past.  But today he seems to be wasting away despite the love being given to him by our dear friends in Bangalore.

Kamal said that he is sullen and withdrawn, and refuses to come out of his shell.  

What can get through to him?  How can love warm Kim's heart again, and penetrate the barriers of despair he has put up?  We are once again so aware of just how weak and frail everything we do is. How little our education and resources and past experience can do...  Heart-breaking.  Tears in the eyes.  That deep emptiness within.  The dreadful thought of, what if...

We humbly come back to our Lord Jesus, the wounded healer.  The one who would have been called a bastard in the claustrophobic growing up in a small town in Galilee where everyone knew that his mother was pregnant when she married Joseph.  The one who had his closest friends desert him.  The man whose family considered him mad and came to take him into their custody.  The man whose body bore sufferings untold.  A man of sorrows, acquainted with griefs.

We bring Kim back to our Lord.  "Touch Kim's heart" we earnestly and humbly ask of Jesus. "Hold Kim's hand."

The next few days, maybe even hours, will tell the outcome.  Will this young orphan boy with HIV live to see another set of challenges?  Or is the curtain going down on another life that we have been involved with.   

Your prayers and tears are welcome to mingle with ours.


  1. Oh Andi and Sheba,
    Your blog…sigh. Indeed, there are no words. And the words of prayer slip off into the air with such a questioning lightness…will You save this one, please, please, dear God.? Or will your answer not be more of this earthy life this time? This precious, precious time. My own boy, Nate, lays sick on the couch today with a horrible headache and I have to confess that sometimes, when he is sick, I feel my own sense of relief from the press of his usual feistiness and energy. He looks so much today like the photo of “Kim” and I find myself thanking God over and over again that his feistiness was a part of the miracle of his own survival as an underweight, premature and failing to thrive infant. He had some kind of fight in him that would not let those things define his end. Thanks, thanks be to God for that. But there lies Kim, spark dwindling. It’s harder to know that it is not a lack of medicine or care now, but a lack of hope because of all that life has done to this poor child of God. No fight left. I came to that very place myself at age 14…and wished for death until age 17. The amount of pain was not reasonable to experience any longer if there was not something redeemable about it all, some kind of meaning…someone to have answers for the depth of overwhelming loss. Jesus, I pray that You yourself go to him in the very chambers of His heart and bring life to the ash heap, bring tissue to the valley of bones, breath life…and light and show your good, good glory to those who don’t know you, but also to those of us who do and long to see your goodness triumph even in this life. Come fast, Jesus, Spirit, Father. Please.

    1. Thanks Nick and Jamie and family for your prayers for this dear one!

  2. Kyrie eleison, Christe eleison.