Sunday 12 September 2010

Nathaniel

Nathaniel went South. Far South. Almost as South as you can get in India.

His family took him. They wanted him sober. They checked him into a mission hospital with the hope that Nathaniel would stop abusing alcohol.

While at the hospital (which as far as I know is not a rehab centre) he was tested for HIV. He was found to be HIV positive.

We got a call from Nathaniel's doctor - who happens to be a friend of ours. Since Nathaniel lives in Thane, he was referred to us for further treatment - of his HIV that is.

Turns out Nathaniel is more a neighbour than we may have guessed from the phone referral. His father is the chairman of a prominent local church. The family is very afraid that others will find out about his HIV status. They do not want home visits.

About his drinking, however, I am sure most local people will know. It would be unusual if someone who was an alcoholic for over 13 years would escape the notice of people around.

How much the family is co-dependent in this cycle is not clear yet. We are just making contact with them.

His brother and sister brought Nathaniel. He was sullen. We explained about HIV and did a confirmatory HIV test. We talked about deaddiction treatments. We talked about how he needed to bring his wife for testing.

Nathaniel did not come with his wife. She came alone for her test. She looks barely out of school. When we asked about Nathaniel we were told that he was drinking again.

On Saturday Nathaniel came unexpectedly to the clinic. He wanted his wife's report. She had picked up his HIV test - which was positive - and he had come for hers.

By God's grace she is - still - HIV negative.

Now it is Nathaniel's turn to make a change. AIDS kills - but not as quickly as people think. We can drink ourselves to death - but after 13 years of it - the body can manage to chug along pretty well.

It is possible to make a change though - as gloomy as a situation may be.

In talking to Nathaniel, he has at least showed that he is open to be visited at home - something his relatives were dead against. We do know of some of our friends who have been able to get out of the grip of the bottle - and make real changes in their lives.

We are exploring options for places where Nathaniel can go if he is really convinced that he wants to change. But it all turns around the question of whether he can summon up the will to do so. As miserable as his life may be at this point - it has a certain set of sureties. He knows that his family is trying to do something for him. He knows where to get the next shot. He has his pals and the days move forward.

Change is hard.

But change is possible. There is hope. And that's why we are here. Because as long as we have breath there is still hope for change.

We see in the life of Christ that He kept giving second chances to his disciples when they messed up. But we also see the deep sorrow that Jesus had when people walked away from Him. He never forced them to follow Him. But was always willing to give people another opportunity to let them be more like Him.

Say a prayer for Nathaniel. I think we have a long walk ahead with him and his young wife.

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